On the Social Butterfly topic:
Not only do I want to be able to interact with people without crying, I really just want my friendships back. Like, I can’t even make myself talk to the people I love the most for one reason or another and that’s the shittiest feeling in the world. These are the people who choose to put up with my bullshit and I can’t even say hi to them when they send me a message. I can’t even get off my ass to go to the post office and send a package.
I MISS social interaction. I miss sitting on Skype all day and I miss writing and drawing Gallifreyan and doing whatever else I USED to do all day.
Last night, I likened it to Hermione’s teeth. She could have stopped shrinking them when they got back to normal, but she let the nurse carry on a bit, right? She set herself back to ‘the norm’ instead of HER norm. I don’t want to be a social butterfly, I just want to feel like less of an asshole.
I really thought I could handle myself and this problem when clearly I can’t. Not by myself. With any luck, things will get better in a week or two or four and I can start making amends.