A blog for all my ramblings, rants, and raves.

Tori -- 22 -- aspiring human being

Be Calm.Stay Shiny

This is Snickers.

Recovering from a failed relationship can be a lot like quitting heroin


English, UC Berkeley

I’m moving!

I’ve secured a url for my new personal blog. It isn’t going to be very much like this one because I’m going to use it to help keep track of my therapy stuff, too. 

If you’d like the new url, like this post or drop me a line. Thanks!

I’m just really fucking scared and crying even though she’s okay. I mean, she’s okay NOW. Snickers just isn’t a young cat anymore and I’m terrified every day of losing her. It’ll be like losing my oldest and best friend. We’ve been together since 6th grade, you know?

And I don’t have time to be scared and cry because someone’s coming to install a dishwasher any minute and i just can’t handle this right now.


Taking mental health advice from pastry recipes.


Taking mental health advice from pastry recipes.

Sooooo…I made an appointment with a new therapist for Wednesday afternoon and I’m actually looking forward to it cause lady knew exactly how to calm me down and that was by boring me with long-winded and confusing driving directions to a place I already know how to get to.

Or maybe she just doesn’t know street names either. Anyway, she seemed nice enough on the phone, so I may as well give it a shot. However, I wish I could do therapy and THEN my job interview. Gonna have to just tough it out tomorrow, I suppose.

I hate when people say, “I’m not trying to upset you,” after they apologize for giving me a panic attack.

And then only get better and better at giving me panic attacks.

I feel very bad and would like to hide from everyone for a little while. Unfortunately, I promised I would do something things. 

Wow I just panic attacked so hard I threw up. 

Did I unlock an achievement?

I”m pissed because I’m doing what I can to make it work and it gets treated like nothing. Just because I can’t write out a big check for all the bills, I’m not allowed to get mad at having to clean up piss all day. Is the roof over my head payment for my pee-cleaning services? If i stopped, would I be thrown out on the streets?

Okay I need to talk a little bit about last night. It’s kind of a brief insight into how I am when depression/anxiety/stress build up a little too much and I lose control. If you’re not interested in hearing such a thing, then go ahead and scroll on. Really, I just need to write it down and get it out and share a little of my burden with people I know care about me and won’t judge me too harshly for these things. You are those people. <3

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